Waiting.
The time trickles by, each second an eternity.
I shiver, feeling chilled to the bone, yet my palms are moist with perspiration.
I try not to fidget too noticeably in my seat, failing completely.
Oh, the anticipation!
My mind works into a frenzy, bracing itself for the worst, yet still secretly hoping for the very best.
All the possible scenarios flit across my consciousness, a slideshow of utterly different futures.
For me, everything hangs in the balance, outcome yet to be decided;
That fateful, revealing moment both longed-for and dreaded.
Which way will the wheel of fortune turn this time? --no one can know for real.
And as I sit, body rigid, mind plagued by countless thoughts of self-doubt, I realize that
The wait is far harder to endure than the reveal.
I like it! So descriptive! But I just wish I knew how the narrator got into this situation... What happened?! (the suspense is killing me :P)
ReplyDeleteMy only critique about this is the "The wait is by far more challenging than the reveal" line. The phrasing sounds a little awkward and it's not too clear what you mean by "challenging" (well, maybe it's just me.) Challenging to accept? Challenging to withstand?
Then again, it's kinda hard to paraphrase it in a better way... What about: "No matter what hardships it may bring, nothing is more difficult than the wait"? That's the best I can offer- but you don't have to change anything if you prefer your original way :)
Yay new comment :) *does happy dance* haha it was probably some left over feels of nervousness from...somewhere XP
ReplyDeleteThanks for the critique! It's always nice to get some feedback :D Yea I see what you mean there...hmm tweaked it a bit. Sorry I couldn't use your line(which is awesome) cuz I had to rescue my semi-there-barely-holding-on-rhyme-scheme from certain doom. (not really as dramatic as I like to think but XD) Tell me if there's any improvement? :)
woah- 10x better! :)
ReplyDelete