The Wait

Waiting.
The time trickles by, each second an eternity.
I shiver, feeling chilled to the bone, yet my palms are moist with perspiration.
I try not to fidget too noticeably in my seat, failing completely.
Oh, the anticipation!
My mind works into a frenzy, bracing itself for the worst, yet still secretly hoping for the very best.
All the possible scenarios flit across my consciousness, a slideshow of utterly different futures.
For me, everything hangs in the balance, outcome yet to be decided;
That fateful, revealing moment both longed-for and dreaded.
Which way will the wheel of fortune turn this time? --no one can know for real.
And as I sit, body rigid, mind plagued by countless thoughts of self-doubt, I realize that
The wait is far harder to endure than the reveal.

Reminiscing

I step onto the balcony and stare out to sea,
Bombarded with a flood of long-gone memories.
The November air stings my cheeks,
Drying the tears, yet fresh ones still leak.

It has been so long-- a lifetime ago,
But I still remember vividly, as though
That day were only yesterday,
For even time cannot hold the memories at bay.

O my hero, wherever did you go?
Left for a better place, with my heart in tow.
O my love, whatever shall I do?
Now that you're gone, my purpose is too.

It's a dreary day, even the sky misses your smile;
Your tender gaze, our unborn child,
Gone forever, I alone remain behind,
With only the precious images in my mind.

But soon, I will see you both again,
The very thought brings me both hope and pain;
For my body has withered away at last,
Old and gray, fading fast.

If you hear me, love, wherever you are,
Grant me this one last wish from afar:
Until my final moments, watch over me,
And thereafter, we will be together, finally.


---
Yay another random and sort of depressing poem! (what is happening to me...XP) I assure you though, I am perfectly fine, I just get these writing moods.(blame the plot bunnies!) :D

Doomed To Love

Have you ever heard 

of the tragic story

Of brave Romeo and sweet Juliet?

Star-crossed lovers, they were;

Doomed from the very start,

Destiny wrenched them apart.

They were 

Unafraid to stay...                                      TRUE

To their own feelings:

To unleash their...                                      LOVE,

Wild and passionate.

A families' feud...                                     NEVER

Once hindered them;

"Till one of us...                                         DIES,"

They solemnly vowed,

"We will always be there for each other;

We will stay forever together."

"For this is...                                                OUR

Futures at stake;

It should be our...                                     HEARTS

That decide which paths we take;

And we shall...                                          NEVER

Look back with regret;

Even as we...                                                LIE

In our early graves, side by side."

 

---

First time trying out the emphasized words thing :p

BELIEVE

"By a clear winding river," the nine-year-old said longingly,

"Elves have lived in secret, since the beginnings of time;

 Long-legged, pointy-eared, mysterious fellows,

 In their great palaces of living oak.

 Ere the sunrise, some are already up and about.

 Vast libraries of knowledge always refreshed,

 Everything that was and everything that will be contained within..."

The nurse listened patiently, smiled and nodded.

She did not dismiss the tale as a childish fantasy;

Her heart could not bear to shatter these dreams.

The boy only had a week left to live; and he really believed.

---

This was to challenge myself with forming words by using the first letter of each line. :)
...and yes, the pic is from Lord of the Rings. No copyright infringement intended.

Disappointment

Disappointment.

There should have been something else, she registered dimly,

Anger, perhaps, or bitter betrayal;

But she could feel nothing but disappointment.

He didn't come.

A gaping chasm of hurt threatened to swallow her whole-

Just like the gaping hole he left in her heart;

The unnatural emptiness ate away at her.

He never came for her.

She felt broken inside, but hid her true feelings behind a hard mask;

She longed to sob and sob for her loss, but her face stayed dry.

I must stay strong, she told herself, 

I must not cry.

Her heart hardened.

She had given him everything, loved him with all the passion she possessed;

But now he is forever gone, and she had nothing left.

--

My strange writing moods...*shakes head at self*

This is almost like fanfiction for BBC Merlin, which is based on the Arthurian legends. :D
If you have any idea what I'm talking about, I hereby give you a virtual high-five. If not, here's what's happening in a nutshell.
The events take place in the Dark Ages in Britain, in the age of noble knights and chivalry. Magic exists. Merlin is supposedly the greatest sorcerer ever, who is destined to help the Once and Future King, Arthur Pendragon, unite England under the banner of Camelot. They became very good friends who constantly banter and tease each other. This piece is set shortly before the battle of Camlann, where Arthur supposedly gets killed by Mordred.


Merlin's powers were fading as the Old Religion was replaced with the new. Knowing in his heart that the time has come, he bade farewell to King Arthur.

"This is where we part, old friend," Merlin stated with a heavy heart. "I would gladly die at your side, but it is not to be. This final battle you must fight alone; for the Old Ways are fading, and I am duty bound to do what I can. I must go the isle of Avalon and bound my magic to the earth, for only there can I protect the last seeds of the Old Magic."

The golden haired king nodded. "I understand, Merlin. I realize now that this was always destined to be. No matter how hard it may be, we have to carry on, for the love of Camelot. I will never regret all that we have achieved together." Arthur looked straight at Merlin, with determination evident in every line of his body.

"Well, well," Merlin remarked dryly, "It seems that the prat has gotten wise. Hmm," he rubbed his chin theatrically, "It just occurred to me that not many people know that the mighty King Arthur is, in fact, a prat and a clotpole. I shall do my best to personally make sure that piece of knowledge lives forever." A mischievous glint appeared in Merlin's eyes. "Imagine a thousand years later, you being remembered as the legendary Royal Prat." He grinned.

Arthur scowled half-heartedly. The two would have started another round of their famous banter had the situation been less grave. But alas, it was not to be. Merlin realized suddenly, with a strange sort of sadness, that it was to be the last time they teased each other in this lifetime. He suppressed the urge to joke around with Arthur one last time, knowing that delaying the inevitable would only make it harder.

Merlin grew serious again. "I have hoped that this moment would never come to pass; but now that it has, I part with one final advice. Remember, Arthur, never ever forget, the values we have fought for all these years. Our mortal bodies may perish, but our immortal souls live on. A time will come when Camelot and her people will be reincarnated into a new world. I shall be waiting-praying for that moment, however long it takes. Until then, farewell, Arthur; my friend, my brother, my king."
The two pairs of soulful blue eyes bore into each other, conveying in their depths, all the affection that was too profound to put into words. A look of intense concentration crossed Arthur's face, as if he was trying to memorize every detail of that moment.

After a few seconds, Arthur stepped forward and clasped Merlin in a one arm hug. "Goodbye, Merlin. Oh, and," his eyes twinkled with amusement, "Do try not to be an idiot."

Merlin grinned his trademark grin, one last time. Then his azure eyes turned a molten gold, and he disappeared in a swirl of wind, leaving nothing behind but the rustle of leaves and the echoes of memories.

Arthur's gaze remained for a long time on the spot where Merlin stood. He felt mournful, but also satisfied at the same time, as if a great burden he never knew had existed was suddenly lifted from his shoulders. For perhaps the first time in his life, he felt truly free, and... Right. It all felt right. He could almost sense Destiny's smile of pride.

"So be it," Arthur muttered to himself, "I defend Camelot to my last breath." And with the dignity of a true king, Arthur Pendragon walked away, toward his doom, and never once looked back.

*I wasn't sure if this should go on here, but hey, a blog is where all the random stuff goes. XD

Survival

There are many types of people in this world,

Unique, one-of-a-kind individuals;

Each and every one worth noticing,

With our own hopes and fears, strengths and weaknesses.

But when it comes to survival, carrying on,

There is one thing above all, that defines who we are:

Whether we find the strength, to keep going no matter what,

Or give up, and let our wills be destroyed by hardships.

Because what doesn't kill us makes us stronger,

If we survive the initial hit.

Lesson

"Life is just one big lesson,"

I remarked, in a moment of deep pondering.

"Just the one lesson?" My mother asked,

"Why is that? Surely there are lots to learn?"

"Yes," I replied, "But the thing is, you see...

We never stop learning."

*Randomness! And yes, this was an actual conversation between my mom and I. I just modified it a bit to make it flow better. :)

Short story-Only a Dream

Phew...just finished my first ever short story(or attempt at it, really) and owie my hand is cramping. XD Very dark, creepy(and weird), so be warned. Boy I was not in a happy mood when I brainstormed for this... Um, I'm too lazy to type it up right now, and I should really be studying. Oops. *looks around sheepishly*
*edit: FREEDOM! Not really for me but I'm trying to be optimistic :D Okie here you go. *hides behind desk*

Dream

The young woman looked around her. Everything seemed a little fuzzy at the edges. Some part of her mind registered that she was in her office at the law firm she owned. She stepped forward in familiarity--and the bookshelf to her left came crashing down, passing right through her body.

***
Marilyn Brooks woke up with a strangled gasp, her brow beaded with sweat.

Childish, she berated herself, When have I ever woken up in panic because of a nightmare? I start now, after winning that lotto jackpot, the biggest break of my life? She scoffed.

Marilyn soon dozed off again. Come morning, the nightmare was all but gone from her mind.

***
It was the following Tuesday. Marilyn hummed cheerfully to herself while she made coffee during her lunch break. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, her business was going well, and her sweet little sister was ecstatic for getting into her dream college; and plus, she now had an extra 3 million dollars in her bank account. Life has never been so good.

She turned back towards her office--and a huge crash made her jump out of her skin, spilling her coffee. (The carpet! she groaned to herself.) Deciding to deal with the stain later, Marilyn rushed to investigate.

The bookshelf-or what had once been the bookshelf-was now a pile of boards. Huge volumes of law lay scattered on the floor.

As the young woman stood over the carnage, a strange feeling of déjà vu passed through her. She dimly recalled the memory of her standing in that very spot as the bookshelf crashed down.

A nightmare, she remembered, and now it has actually come true... but that's ridiculous! Dreams don't foretell the future. It was just my subconscious mind playing tricks on me. There is nothing unusual about it. I've been meaning to fix that loose screw anyways.

***
No matter how much Marilyn tried, though, she could not get the image of the falling shelf out of her mind. She looked so unnerved that after some time, Mike Retz, her handsome and sweet colleague, spoke up.

"Marilyn, hey, you okay there? You've been distracted all afternoon. Something wrong?"

Marilyn hesitated. "Uh...it's nothing, really. I'm too paranoid for my own good." she tried to smile reassuringly, but it came out more like a grimace.

"Don't worry, you can tell me, Marilyn. I'm a psychology major, remember? This kind of stuff is my specialty."

"Alright. Marilyn sighed. "I had a bad dream, that's all. I dreamt vividly of that bookshelf falling and then it actually happened. Crazy, right?"

Mike laughed. "Crazy indeed. Don't think too much of it, boss, our subconscious minds do strange things. You're ever the superstitious one, Marilyn. See if your next dream comes true too, eh?" He winked at her. He looked oddly thoughtful.

"Thanks Mike. I'm fine now, really."

It sounded rather a lot like Marilyn was trying to convince herself.

***
It has been a long day. Marilyn showered, took her usual migraine medication, brushed her teeth, and all but collapsed on top of the covers.

***
The dream started off the same way. Marilyn was standing alone in her office, and everything was deathly quiet.

She looked out of the 8th floor window as a pair of headlights swung into view around the street corner.

Suddenly, a faint sizzling sound reached her ears, and before she could process what was going on, the rear of the car burst into flames.

***
Marilyn bolted upright in her bed.

Not again, she thought as the thudding of her heart gradually subsided. That escalated way too quickly; first the bookshelf, now a burning car. What's next? What could my mind possibly think up that'd be even worse than that?

***
The next morning at work, Mike approached Marilyn again.

"Hey, did you have another dream last night?" His tone was light, joking, but there was almost a need to know.

"Um, yes, actually; a car burst into flames, right outside my office window! I mean, what are the chances of that happening?" Marilyn laughed nervously.

"Quit freaking yourself out. That couldn't possibly happen; relax. It's not like your dreams are prophetic or anything."

"Yeah…you’re right," Marilyn said in a small voice.

***
Marilyn was lounging on her couch, flipping through the TV channels, when she saw the news report.

Car bursts into flames outside M. Brooks Law Firm, it read, Accident caused by leaking fuel tank and discarded cigarette butt. Driver is currently in hospital with minor burns.

Marilyn froze in shock. That was exactly like what happened in her dream!

That was no coincidence; the chances of a freak accident like that happening...unless the car was sabotaged (unlikely).

"Ohmygod!" The sudden thought hit her so hard she shouted out aloud. What if it's the other way around?! What if...what if it's what I dream about that comes true?

***
That night, Marilyn could not fall asleep. She twisted and turned in her bed, afraid to close her eyes. The logical and superstitious parts of her battled for dominance; the superstitious part won. She lay, staring at the ceiling for hours, until finally, exhausted, she dozed off.

***
This time, the dream was different, special. Marilyn was not in her office, or anywhere near her office, in fact. She was standing on a deserted sidewalk. It was dark, and there was a chill in the air. A small form was silhouetted against the faint light of the street-lamps. Marilyn squinted, trying to adjust to the semi-darkness. It was a young woman, carrying an expensive-looking purse, walking briskly away. All was well, until Marilyn noticed a dark shadow darting behind mailboxes and garbage bins, steadily advancing on the unsuspecting woman.

Marilyn opened her mouth in warning, but it was too late.

There was the metallic gleam of a knife, a scream, a struggle for the purse, and dark red seeping into the cracks in the hard concrete ground.

***

Marilyn's eyes snapped open, and she started screaming and sobbing hysterically. Pure terror coursed through her veins. Her mouth tasted dry and bitter. (What a strange aftertaste of those migraine meds.) She felt as if a hammer was driving a nail into her skull-her head felt like it was about to split in two; her heart thudded painfully in her chest.

No, she thought, No no no no no! The poor woman... please...let that be a dream, just a dream, and let nothing come of it...

If only some divine being had heard and granted her desperate wish, if only...

***
Marilyn dragged herself to work the next day, felling sick to her stomach. Her hands trembled as she tapped on the keyboard.

Mark poked his head into the office. “Bad dream again?” He seemed unsurprised.

“It…it was horrible,” Marilyn choked out. “I dreamt of a young woman being stabbed by a burglar, and-and she was bleeding out on the concrete.” Her eyes glistened.

“Hey, there, there,” Mark patted her comfortingly on the shoulder. “It was just a dream, it wasn’t real. Surely something that horrible would never happen here. It’s such a nice neighborhood and all. Don’t worry, everything will be fine,” he reassured her.

“I really hope you’re right, Mark. Thanks for being my confidant.” Marilyn smiled tearfully.

“No problem, Marilyn. Glad to be of help.”

***
That night, held up by some documents, Marilyn was the last one to leave the firm. She was walking back home. It was dark-the street lamps barely illuminated the edge of the sidewalk. There was no other person in sight. Absorbed in her thoughts, Marilyn did not notice anything amiss until she felt something wet on the ground.

Marilyn crouched down. The liquid was not a puddle of rainwater, but a trail of darkish red color. She followed the trail of liquid, and saw a dark shape on the ground.

Horror rising in her throat, Marilyn hurried forward to take a closer look.

A slender body was collapsed in a pool of blood. The woman had hair the same shade as Marilyn’s, which fell in waves, obscuring her face. Marilyn parted the woman’s hair, heart pounding.

The vacant eyes of her beloved sister stared back at her.

She clutched her head and screamed and screamed and screamed.

***
They say Marilyn Brooks went mad with shock and grief at her little sister’s horrific murder. She was sent to a specialized (“Mental,” they whispered.) hospital and died soon after, her body failing along with her mind.

They say because her sister, her only known relative, had died, all of her property-including her new-gained fortune-went to her fiancé.

Her fiancé, a sweet and handsome man who was apparently secretly engaged to Marilyn, was of course devastated, but said he would try to move on.

His name was Mark Retz.
 
~END~